Murray Comforts Rihanna in Wake of DV Incident

Belgian Cat and Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone paid a Lengthy Visit to the Home of American Music Star Rihanna, who has been Beset with Unwanted Publicity after skipping the Grammy Awards under the Cloud of an alleged Domestic Violence Incident with her Significant Other, Chris Brown.

Murray and Rihanna have a History Together, but both of their Publicists Insisted that the Visit was intended to give Comfort to Rihanna during this Stress-Filled Time. Murray, who is currently Linked Romantically to American Actress Hayden Panettiere, has a Reputation as a Philanderer, but is also Known to be a Strong and Loyal Friend. Murray’s Reported Trysts with Rihanna were Dismissed by Brown last Year as not Threatening to himself or their Relationship.

Still, Police are Investigating a possible Long History of Violence betwixt the Two; meanwhile, those coming to the Defence of Brown are making every Effort to Turn the Tables and blame Rihanna for Brown’s Actions. This is a Common Part of the Cycle of Violence and Denial seen in Abusive Relationships.

–The Minister of Gossip–

Hayden Tossed from Nightclub, Murray Culpable

American Actress Hayden Panettiere was Thrown Out of a New York City Nightclub last Month, the Tabloids have reported. She is only 19, and was in a Club whose Minimum Age Requirement was 21 (due to Strict American Laws regarding Alcohol Consumption). Bouncers escorted her Out and Confiscated her Identification, making her very Angry. She eventually had Police step in to Resolve the Matter and return her ID (though she was not allowed Back Inside).

Hayden’s Significant Other, Belgian Cat and Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone had been able to gain Entrance for the young Star into the Club due to his Status, but as Bouncers had been Instructed to Crack Down on Under-Aged Access, Murray’s Influence ultimately had No Effect on the Situation. The Two instead enjoyed a Vegetarian Meal at a Nearby Restaurant.

–The Minister of Gossip

Belgian Cats Celebrate Christmas

The Belgian Controller of Cat Records and Director of Benign Intentions has Noted that King Albert II celebrated Christmas today at the Royal Palace in the Belgian Tradition with his Daughter, Belgian Cat Princess Ophelia. Belgian Ambassador Armondo Blanco was also in Attendance. Chansonnier Cadenza Vieuxtemps performed Musical Renditions of Christmas Favourites at the Ceremony.

Flemish Separatist and Belgian Cat Elton Jansen Celebrated the Holiday at a Public Gathering in Bruxelles. Professor Nanu of the University of Brussels also attended the same Gathering.

Celebrity Belgian Cat and Mountaineer Rocky Rhodes dressed as Sinterklaas and handed out Gifts to Children at an Event in Brugge. Meanwhile, Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone exchanged Gifts in Private with American Actress Hayden Panettiere.

–The Minister of Culture–

Murray and Hayden Go Ice Skating

Belgian Cat and Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone and his Significant Other, American Television star Hayden Panettiere, were out Celebrating the Holiday Season this Week by Ice Skating at Pershing Square in Downtown Los Angeles.

The Couple, which has been Avoiding the Paparazzi of Late by keeping to Themselves (and generating Speculation about more Philandering by Murray, who has a Reputation), looked Happy and seemed to be having a Great Deal of Fun during their Outing. Observers said that after their Stint at the Ice Rink, they couple Darted Off to Beverly Hills to do some Holiday Shopping.

-*-The Minister of Gossip-*-

Panettiere PSA Directed By Gris Gris

American Actress Hayden Panettiere has appeared in a Satirical New Public Service Announcement which was directed by Belgian Cat and Film Director Gris Gris.

In the Spot, Panettiere, known for her Role in the Television Show “Heroes” as well as for her Activism relating to Progressive Causes, jokingly Suggests that Viewers vote for Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain, in particular because he is generally considered Elderly. She also Predicts that McCain’s Policies would not Stray from the current Policies of President George W. Bush, who is suffering from Record Levels of Unpopularity in the Country. No Mention is made of McCain’s Democratic rival Barack Obama, nor any other Presidential Candidates.

Gris Gris, whose latest Film has come under Fire with a Threatened Boycott by Right-Wing Activists in America, is known to be a Close Acquaintance of Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone – who has been Romantically Linked with Panettiere in recent Months.

**The Minister of Culture**

Murray Whisks Hayden Away in Private Jet

Belgian Cat Murray Malone continued his Wooing of Miss Hayden Panettiere last week. Witnesses say the Jet-Set Socialite landed his Personal Airplane at a Private Airstrip in the New York City area and Whisked the Hollywood Hottie away to Europe for some Sight-Seeing and other Fun and Adventurous Activities.

Panettiere, who just turned 19 two weeks Prior, is the Latest in a long Line of Ladies linked with Mr Malone. Her television program, “Heroes,” is set to debut its 3rd Season next Week. Rumour has it that Murray and Hayden planned this Getaway between her Busy Birthday Celebrations and Media Tours for her Show.

A Quote from the Pilot of Murray’s Airplane claims that the Couple would be headed to Greece, but thus far no Sightings have been Reported along the Mediterranean.

**The Minister of Gossip**

Brown Says Murray-Rihanna Fling is No Big Deal

In an interview with a Belgian Gossip Magazine, Hip-Hop Artist Chris Brown indicated that recent Talk of his rumoured girlfriend Rihanna and Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone having a possible Fling is “no big deal.”

Rihanna has been Linked with Murray on Numerous Occasions, but their Public Relations Reps have indicated that the two are merely Friends. Still, Murray’s Reputation precedes him – but Brown isn’t worried, even if the Rumours are True.

“He’s a player, and you gotta respect that,” Brown said. “[Rihanna] and me, we talk about that, it’s no big deal. We’re grown-ups, and sometimes you got needs. Murray’s a cool cat.”

In fact, the Three of them have been seen together at Social Gatherings; now, there are Questions about whether there is a Highly Moderne Three-Way Relationship forming. To that, Brown says no way: “Sounds like the most ancient kind of relationship there is, man!” he laughed. Oddly, Brown failed to Confirm that he and Rihanna were Together in the first place, insisting on “privacy about our great friendship.”

Meanwhile, Murray was spotted over the Weekend attending Clubs in New York City, but at some point is said to have found himself in Somewhat Intimate the company of American Actress Hayden Panettiere. Sources indicate the Two went to a Late-Night Diner together and shared a Limousine at the Conclusion of the Evening.

**The Minister of Gossip**