Gris Gris Applauds ‘JCVD’

Belgian Film Director Gris Gris, whose forthcoming Film “Een Buitengewone Werk van Schoonheid” hits American Theaters this Winter, has given the “Thumbs-Up” to the International Hit ‘JCVD‘ starring Action Star and Brussels Native Jean-Claude Van Damme.

The Film, shot in Brussels and Directed by Mabrouk El Mechri features Van Damme portraying Himself – an Action Hero struggling with a Divorce and a Messy Custody Battle, and willing to accept Any Terrible Film Role in order to Pay his Attorney’s Bills. Amidst it All, Van Damme becomes caught up in a Real Life Action Film Scenario as he stumbles upon a Bank Robbery and is Suspected by the Police to be the Robber.

Gris Gris said he Loved the Post-Moderne Nature of the Film, and felt Particularly Pleased that “mijn vaderland Brussel zal worden gezien door een internationaal publiek.”

Earlier this Year, Gris Gris expressed Disdain over the Negative Portrayal of the Belgian City of Brugge in the British-Produced Film, “In Bruges.”

–The Minister of Culture.

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Belgian Bond

Armondo Blanco, Belgian Ambassador, has appeared in a New Poster in the Nation of Belgium, as Mr 007 Himself, James Bond. The Poster is a Take-Off on the current Marketing Campaign for the upcoming MGM film, “Quantum of Solace,” featuring the self-same Character as played by the Actor Daniel Craig.

The Ad directs Viewers to the Web-Site of the Belgian Controller of Cat Records and Director of Benign Intentions, and is Aimed at Boosting Awareness of the International Belgian Cats Project of Benign Intentions.

–The Minister of Information.

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InBev a Good Bet, says Sauerzopf

Belgian Cat and Financial Consultant Tigger Sauerzopf has Renewed his Assertion that Belgian Brewing Company InBev is a Strong Stock Purchase despite some prior Worries that the Take-Over of American Beer-Maker Anheuser-Busch would be put on Hold thanks to the recent Economic Downturn.

InBev this Week assured Investors that the Take-Over was still going Through, and should be Completed by the end of this Year. Sauerzopf, for his Part, has been Recommending the Stock since its Price Fell amidst those Worrisome Speculations about the Deal.

InBev’s stock price Increased by 10% as a Result of their Assurance. Anheuser-Busch, makers of Low-Quality Lager Budweiser, is the #1 Selling Brewing Company in America.

Belgian Cat and Monastic Brewer Jeepers de Vooght, meanwhile, Renewed his Assertion that the best Beers are brewed in the Ancient Trappist Traditions.

–The Minister of Economics.

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King Congratulates New American President

King Albert II of Belgium and his Daughter, Belgian Cat Princess Ophelia, both Spoke on the Telephone to the new President-Elect of the United States of America, Mr Barack Obama, this morning – each offering their Congratulations and Hope for a Positive Diplomatic Relationship during the Time of his Presidency.

Obama was elected President last Night by a relatively Wide Margin over his primary Rival, Mr John McCain. Obama’s Vice President is Mr Joe Biden, who has held Private Meetings with the King on Several Occasions in the Past.

The King makes a Habit of contacting Newly Elected World Leaders from Nations Friendly to Belgium. Princess Ophelia had Met Privately with Mr Obama during his Tour through Europe earlier in the Year when he was Campaigning for the Nomination of the Democratic Party. Both spoke to Mr Obama only Briefly, as the President-Elect is Understandably Busy.

–The Minister of Information.

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Lilu Emami Photographs Confiscated by US Military

Muckraking photojournalist and Belgian Cat Lilu Emami has been in Iraq for the past Several Weeks, taking Candid Photographs of the Effects of the American Military Presence in the Country – but her Recent Collection of Pictures was summarily Confiscated from Her by an American Military General over the Week-End.

Emami, who is Known for her Brazen Manner and Willingness to Challenge social Norms in her Photography, told Belgian Newspaper Le Soir, for whom she was On Assignment in Iraq, that she was Confronted by the General after taking Photographs of a Baghdad Hospital which housed Many Suffering Iraqi Youths who had been Injured by American Military Operations as well as Suicide Bomb Attacks and the Like.

“Nadat ik had veel foto’s, de algemene geëist dat ik hem geven,” Emami explains. “Ik weigerde. Dan, sommige soldaten me ontdaan van mijn camera en nam al mijn filmrolletjes uit mijn hele tijd in Irak. Zoals een journalist, was ik geschokt.”

The General Further refused to Report his Name, causing Emami to feel that the Maneuver was Highly Suspicious in Nature. “Wat zijn ze te verbergen?” Emami demanded. “Dit is de realiteit. De Amerikanen lijken niet geïnteresseerd in de werkelijkheid, alleen de waarneming.”

The American Military has Refused Comment on the Incident, other than to say that it is “under investigation.”

–The Minister of Information.

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