‘Dirtyface’ Gang Responsible for Magritte Theft?

The famous Painting, “Olympia,” by Rene Magritte, valued at around €750,000, was Stolen by Armed Bandits at the Painter’s Former Home in Brussels this week.

Belgian Constables are Searching for Clues, but it was Leaked Today that Belgian Cat and Notorious Gangster ‘Dirtyface’ Zanoni may be Implicated. Sources Reveal that ‘Dirtyface’ is known to be Fond of Magritte’s Work and may have a small Collection of Rare and even Stolen Pieces by the Artist.

Zanoni Himself was not thought to have been at the Scene to Perform the Robbery, which took place during the Day and was Perpetrated by Two Armed Men.

Anyone with Information on the Heist should contact the Belgian Authorities Immediately, and are Advised that their Protection from Dirtyface’s Gang is Guaranteed if it is deemed Necessary.

–The International Constable of the Nation of Belgium.


‘Dirtyface’ Implicated in Bruges Jail-Break

Notorious Gangster and Belgian Cat ‘Dirtyface’ Zanoni has been implicated by Authorities in a recent Dramatic Escape from a Prison near Brugge.

The Prison Break involved three Highly Dangerous Criminals and an Accomplice taking over a Helicopter to fly to Freedom. One of the Criminals, Ashraf Sekkaki, is a known Associate of Zanoni’s, having been involved in a number of Bank Robberies attributed to the Dirtyface Gang prior to his Arrest in 2000. Sekkaki had also previously Escaped from another Belgian Prison in 2003 before being re-captured.

This is the third Helicopter Prison Break in two years from a Prison in Belgium – the first occurred in April of 2007 at Lantin Prison; the second was from a High-Security Prison in Ittre later in the same Year. These two Dramatic Escapes resulted in a Mandate for Helicopter-Proof Netting to be installed into all Belgian Prisons. The Brugge Facility has not yet Moved Forward with its Installation.

Along with Sekkaki, Mohammed Johry and Abdel Had Kahjary Mulloul are also on the lam. Belgian and International Authorities are working Diligently to track down the Trio and bring them back into Custody.

–The Minister of Information & the International Constable of the Nation of Belgium.

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Dirtyface Gang Linked to Rotterdam Shooting

Authorities are attempting to Trace the Gun used in the Shooting of four Tourists in a Cafe in Rotterdam, Netherlands over the Week-End to Notorious Gangster and Belgian Cat “Dirtyface” Zanoni.

Witnesses say that the Shooter was involved in an Argument with the Tourists, left the Scene, then returned and opened Fire. One of the Tourists was killed.

Dirtyface’s Gang is a Known Trafficker of Fire-Arms, and has Previously been Linked to Supply-Chains into the Netherlands, where Guns are virtually Banned for Citizens. Zanoni is not implicated in the Shooting Itself, as it does not appear to be Gang-Related; however, Border Authorities have been Instructed to Tighten Security in an attempt to Prevent more Fire-Arms from entering the Country.

-The International Constable of the Nation of Belgium-

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“Dirtyface” has Surprising Playlist

Belgian Cat and Notorious Gangster “Dirtyface” Zanoni has a Surprising Taste in Music, as it Turns Out.

Dirtyface’s last.fm Profile, unearthed by the intrepid Investigators at the Ministry of Culture, includes Tracks by the Likes of Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Carrie Underwood, and numerous other American Pop Stars often associated with the Musical Tastes of Teen-Aged Girls and Dance-Club Enthusiasts. Zanoni is known to be Neither; however, Rumours say that he has a Preference for Wealthy Young Ladies with a High Level of Social Influence – a Category into which Many of the Musicians on his List could be said to Qualify.

**The Minister of Culture.**

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Dirtyface Gang Infiltrating England?

Belgian Cat and Notorious Gangster “Dirtyface” Zanoni has enlisted his Gang to create a Legitimate Web-Based Business in England with the URL of www.dirtyface.co.uk. The Business Front is that of a “graffiti” style of Graphic Design Services with Similarities to Graffiti which has been Posted in Townships worldwide as a Threat to the Local Governments. “Dirtyface” appears to be attempting to take a New Approach as his Inroad to the United Kingdom, which is Known to be quite Stringent in its Crack-Down of foreign Gangs.

–The International Constable of the Nation of Belgium–

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Dirtyface Suspected in Gruesome Threat

“Dirtyface” Zanoni, Notorious Gangster and Belgian Cat, is a prime Suspect in the latest Mafioso-like Stunt to befall Nurses in France.

A Nurse at the French Mater Dei Health Facility was served up the Head of a Mouse in her Salad. Authorities have traced the head back to a Packaging Plant in Belgium which has Known Ties to the Dirtyface Gang. Now, International Constables are searching for Hints that “Dirtyface” is making a move to Take Over yet another foreign Union. His Gang hijacked the Rubbish Collectors’ Union on Guam earlier this Summer and has since been placing Pressure upon Port Owners on the Island to ease Restrictions on Certain Goods deemed Valuable to many Belgian Cats.

This latest Stunt resembles the infamous Severed Cow’s Head Scene in the film “The Godfather” – a known Favourite of “Dirtyface” Zanoni’s.

-The International Constable of the Nation of Belgium-

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Guam Rubbish Collectors Return to Work; Dirtyface Now in Control

Rubbish Collectors on the Island of Guam, who had stopped Work on Order of the Gang of Belgian Cat ‘Dirtyface’ Zanoni several weeks ago, have returned to Work this Week, reportedly under an Agreement between Governor Felix Camacho and Leaders of the Dirtyface Gang.

With the Rainy Season beginning to Kick In on the Island, many Public Officials were anxious to get the Rubbish Cleared before it began Piling Up on the Streets and – with the addition of large amounts of Moisture – Rotting, Smelling, and creating a Health Hazard.

Dirtyface is likely to Maintain Control over the Rubbish Collection Union and will not be Pursued by Authorities. Many on the Island fear this might create a Precedent for continued Takeover Attempts by Dirtyface or other Influential Gangs, but many also Acknowledge that the move may have been Necessary under the Circumstances.

The Rationale for Dirtyface’s Interest in Guam is Unclear. The Belgian Controller of Cat Records and Director of Benign Intentions has made numerous Efforts to Contact ‘Dirtyface’ Himself or a Representative of his Notorious Gang, but all such efforts have Failed. Some speculate that Dirtyface is looking for a Way In to Shipping Ports in the Pacific; others suspect that this Move may have more to do with his Plans to take over the world’s Fishing Industry.

–The Minister of Information.

‘Dirtyface’ Gang Shuts Down Rubbish Collection on Guam

Rubbish collectors have stopped working on the U.S. Territory of Guam, and according to Sources, the it is due to a Violent Takeover by ‘Dirtyface’ Zanoni and his Nefarious Gang.

As reported on This Site several weeks ago, Tagging from Dirtyface Gang Members has been targeting Rubbish Bins in Certain Cities, including San Jose, California, USA; Toronto, Ontario, Canada; Sydney, New South Wales, Australia; and the Island of Guam. Suspicions arose that this was an Indication of an impending Effort to Overtake the Rubbish Collection Unions in these and other Areas. Unfortunately, our Field Researchers are not Located on Guam, and Word of Gang Activity there was unconfirmed until Today.

Rubbish Collection stopped on the entire Island as of Last Week; Residents have been encouraged by their Village Mayors to bring their Rubbish and Recyclable Materials directly to the Dumps and Recycling Centers. However, we at the Offices of the International Constable of the Nation of Belgium recommend Against this action, as violent Gang Members may have overtaken these Facilities. This has been the Pattern of Dirtyface’s gang in the Past. Instead, we recommend Composting whatever you are Able to and Re-Using any Recyclable Materials in order that they do not Pile Up.

The Dirtyface Gang is said to have Threatened the Rubbish Collection Union on Guam and taken over their Operations, then proceeded to Shut Down said Operations in a Show of Power. There is No Word as to How Long the Shut-Down might last.

‘Dirtyface’ and his Gang, known for their Aptitude for Illegal Imports in the Nation of Belgium, have in the past few Years begun to Expand their Operation Worldwide; the International Constable of the Nation of Belgium is Intent on Capturing this Criminal and putting him to Justice.

-The International Constable of the Nation of Belgium-

Dirtyface’s Ancestor: A Belgian Mule?

Read this Brief Blurb about “Dirtyface” Jack, a beloved Mule from the History Books in California, USA. Could he be an Ancestor of the Notorious Gangster and Belgian Cat “Dirtyface” Zanoni?

>The Minister of Historical Records<

Further ‘Dirtyface’ Tagging a Threat to Local Municipalities?

Further Tagging by ‘Dirtyface’ Zanoni has been Spotted in San Jose, California. The Gang appears to be Focusing in Particular on Recycling and Rubbish Receptacles; Authorities are Investigating whether this is meant as a Threat to Local Rubbish Collectors, their Union Representatives, or even the Users of the Rubbish Bins Themselves. Here are some New Photographs from San Jose:

Tagging Evidence of Dirtyface Zanoni

Tagging Evidence of Dirtyface Zanoni

Still no Recent Sightings of the Notorious Gangster Himself; International Constables working in San Jose have placed the Following Posters about Town in order to Raise Awareness of this Serious Matter:

Tagging Evidence of Dirtyface Zanoni

Field Representatives have also reported increased Levels of Dirtyface Tagging Evidence in the cities of Toronto, Ontario, Canada; Sydney, New South Wales, Australia; Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; and upon the Island of Guam. If you have made a Sighting of Dirtyface or his Gang, please report it to the Belgian Controller of Cat Records & Director of Benign Intentions here.

To download the Wanted Poster for Dirtyface or for Other Criminally-Inclined Belgian Cats in order to Fully Inform members of your Neighbourhood of their Devious Activities, please visit our Belgian Cats Benign Propaganda Section.

Thank you, and Remain Safe.

—The International Constable of the Nation of Belgium—