Guam Rubbish Collectors Return to Work; Dirtyface Now in Control

Rubbish Collectors on the Island of Guam, who had stopped Work on Order of the Gang of Belgian Cat ‘Dirtyface’ Zanoni several weeks ago, have returned to Work this Week, reportedly under an Agreement between Governor Felix Camacho and Leaders of the Dirtyface Gang.

With the Rainy Season beginning to Kick In on the Island, many Public Officials were anxious to get the Rubbish Cleared before it began Piling Up on the Streets and – with the addition of large amounts of Moisture – Rotting, Smelling, and creating a Health Hazard.

Dirtyface is likely to Maintain Control over the Rubbish Collection Union and will not be Pursued by Authorities. Many on the Island fear this might create a Precedent for continued Takeover Attempts by Dirtyface or other Influential Gangs, but many also Acknowledge that the move may have been Necessary under the Circumstances.

The Rationale for Dirtyface’s Interest in Guam is Unclear. The Belgian Controller of Cat Records and Director of Benign Intentions has made numerous Efforts to Contact ‘Dirtyface’ Himself or a Representative of his Notorious Gang, but all such efforts have Failed. Some speculate that Dirtyface is looking for a Way In to Shipping Ports in the Pacific; others suspect that this Move may have more to do with his Plans to take over the world’s Fishing Industry.

–The Minister of Information.


‘Dirtyface’ Gang Shuts Down Rubbish Collection on Guam

Rubbish collectors have stopped working on the U.S. Territory of Guam, and according to Sources, the it is due to a Violent Takeover by ‘Dirtyface’ Zanoni and his Nefarious Gang.

As reported on This Site several weeks ago, Tagging from Dirtyface Gang Members has been targeting Rubbish Bins in Certain Cities, including San Jose, California, USA; Toronto, Ontario, Canada; Sydney, New South Wales, Australia; and the Island of Guam. Suspicions arose that this was an Indication of an impending Effort to Overtake the Rubbish Collection Unions in these and other Areas. Unfortunately, our Field Researchers are not Located on Guam, and Word of Gang Activity there was unconfirmed until Today.

Rubbish Collection stopped on the entire Island as of Last Week; Residents have been encouraged by their Village Mayors to bring their Rubbish and Recyclable Materials directly to the Dumps and Recycling Centers. However, we at the Offices of the International Constable of the Nation of Belgium recommend Against this action, as violent Gang Members may have overtaken these Facilities. This has been the Pattern of Dirtyface’s gang in the Past. Instead, we recommend Composting whatever you are Able to and Re-Using any Recyclable Materials in order that they do not Pile Up.

The Dirtyface Gang is said to have Threatened the Rubbish Collection Union on Guam and taken over their Operations, then proceeded to Shut Down said Operations in a Show of Power. There is No Word as to How Long the Shut-Down might last.

‘Dirtyface’ and his Gang, known for their Aptitude for Illegal Imports in the Nation of Belgium, have in the past few Years begun to Expand their Operation Worldwide; the International Constable of the Nation of Belgium is Intent on Capturing this Criminal and putting him to Justice.

-The International Constable of the Nation of Belgium-