Gris Gris Film Opens Amidst Protest

Belgian Cat and Director Gris Gris’ new film, “Een Buitengewone Werk van Schoonheid,” has Opened in America to the Tune of about $36,000, but angry Protests may have either Disrupted Business for the Movie – or they may have Added to its Appeal (Analysts are Loathe to Guess which).

The Film, which has spawned a Boycott Effort which among other things incorrectly claims that the Title can be Translated to mean “America is Devil-Spawn,” opened over the New Years Holiday Weekend in four Theaters in New York and Los Angeles in order that it might Qualify for Possible Oscar Contention. It is not likely to Qualify in the Foreign Film Category of the Oscars, as Belgian Representatives are considered unlikely to Submit it as the Nation’s Entry for an Award.

In addition to the Boycott’s ire at what they perceive to be Gris Gris’ anti-American Views, they are also concerned about what they have dubbed the “Veg Agenda” – referring to the Fact that Gris Gris is a Vegetarian. Helping their Efforts to Block Citizens from Viewing the Film, Critics have mostly Panned it. Still, it has managed to gain a Reputation as Something to See as a Curio at the very Least; and distributor Magnolia Pictures seems to be Clinging to the Notion that Gris Gris Himself should be Considered for a Writing or Directing Oscar: the Company has taken out Advertisements in Variety Magazine making just such a Recommendation to Academy Voters.

—The Minister of Culture—

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Belgian Cats Celebrate Christmas

The Belgian Controller of Cat Records and Director of Benign Intentions has Noted that King Albert II celebrated Christmas today at the Royal Palace in the Belgian Tradition with his Daughter, Belgian Cat Princess Ophelia. Belgian Ambassador Armondo Blanco was also in Attendance. Chansonnier Cadenza Vieuxtemps performed Musical Renditions of Christmas Favourites at the Ceremony.

Flemish Separatist and Belgian Cat Elton Jansen Celebrated the Holiday at a Public Gathering in Bruxelles. Professor Nanu of the University of Brussels also attended the same Gathering.

Celebrity Belgian Cat and Mountaineer Rocky Rhodes dressed as Sinterklaas and handed out Gifts to Children at an Event in Brugge. Meanwhile, Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone exchanged Gifts in Private with American Actress Hayden Panettiere.

–The Minister of Culture–

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Gris Gris Applauds ‘JCVD’

Belgian Film Director Gris Gris, whose forthcoming Film “Een Buitengewone Werk van Schoonheid” hits American Theaters this Winter, has given the “Thumbs-Up” to the International Hit ‘JCVD‘ starring Action Star and Brussels Native Jean-Claude Van Damme.

The Film, shot in Brussels and Directed by Mabrouk El Mechri features Van Damme portraying Himself – an Action Hero struggling with a Divorce and a Messy Custody Battle, and willing to accept Any Terrible Film Role in order to Pay his Attorney’s Bills. Amidst it All, Van Damme becomes caught up in a Real Life Action Film Scenario as he stumbles upon a Bank Robbery and is Suspected by the Police to be the Robber.

Gris Gris said he Loved the Post-Moderne Nature of the Film, and felt Particularly Pleased that “mijn vaderland Brussel zal worden gezien door een internationaal publiek.”

Earlier this Year, Gris Gris expressed Disdain over the Negative Portrayal of the Belgian City of Brugge in the British-Produced Film, “In Bruges.”

–The Minister of Culture.

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Panettiere PSA Directed By Gris Gris

American Actress Hayden Panettiere has appeared in a Satirical New Public Service Announcement which was directed by Belgian Cat and Film Director Gris Gris.

In the Spot, Panettiere, known for her Role in the Television Show “Heroes” as well as for her Activism relating to Progressive Causes, jokingly Suggests that Viewers vote for Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain, in particular because he is generally considered Elderly. She also Predicts that McCain’s Policies would not Stray from the current Policies of President George W. Bush, who is suffering from Record Levels of Unpopularity in the Country. No Mention is made of McCain’s Democratic rival Barack Obama, nor any other Presidential Candidates.

Gris Gris, whose latest Film has come under Fire with a Threatened Boycott by Right-Wing Activists in America, is known to be a Close Acquaintance of Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone – who has been Romantically Linked with Panettiere in recent Months.

**The Minister of Culture**

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“Dirtyface” has Surprising Playlist

Belgian Cat and Notorious Gangster “Dirtyface” Zanoni has a Surprising Taste in Music, as it Turns Out.

Dirtyface’s last.fm Profile, unearthed by the intrepid Investigators at the Ministry of Culture, includes Tracks by the Likes of Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Carrie Underwood, and numerous other American Pop Stars often associated with the Musical Tastes of Teen-Aged Girls and Dance-Club Enthusiasts. Zanoni is known to be Neither; however, Rumours say that he has a Preference for Wealthy Young Ladies with a High Level of Social Influence – a Category into which Many of the Musicians on his List could be said to Qualify.

**The Minister of Culture.**

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Mei Mei & Pan Pan to Attempt Rare Feat

Trapeze Tandem Mei Mei and Pan Pan announced this Week that they shall be Attempting a Rarely-Executed Feat of Death-Defiance in their Upcoming Circus Performance.

The Feat, dubbed “Gevaarlijke Vliegende Bal,” involves both of the Daring Belgian Cats clutching One Another while Flying unaided through the Air, Spinning About, Arms and Legs Aflutter in all Manner of Awe-Inspiring Acrobatic Feats, and making Contact only with Dangling Ropes which they shall use to Re-Launch themselves back into the Air. The end Result, as described in the Duo’s Promotional Materials, is like a Leaf, which, upon Drifting toward the Ground in a Beautiful yet Unpredictable Fashion, is then Caught in a Gust of Wind and Hurled Back into the Sky only to Twitter and Spin Back toward the Ground Again.

The Canadian Circus Troupe Cirque du Soleil attempted to Incorporate a Similar Performance into their show, “Corteo,” when it was Conceived in 2002 but Abandoned it over Safety Concerns.

As Usual, Mei Mei and Pan Pan intend to Execute this Unique and Difficult Feat without the Use of a Safety Net, putting themselves in as much Danger as Possible. The Act is set to Debut early in 2009.

—The Minister of Culture—

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Misty Watters Forms Book Club at Bibliothéque Royale de Belgique

Belgian Cat Misty Watters of the Bibliothéque Royale de Belgique is promoting Belgian literature with a new Book Club at her Library.

Ms Watters, a Senior Librarian at the Bibliothéque, has become increasingly Frustrated by what she has Seen as her Fellow Countrymen’s lack of Familiarity with Belgian Literature, and she has Decided to make it something of a Crusade to focus on Awareness of her Nation’s Rich History. The Book Club, which is Free of Charge, will introduce an Important Work from a Belgian Author each Month, with a follow-up Discussion at each Meeting. Anyone is Welcome to Join.

Some of the Books on Ms Watters’ List include:

  • Advocaat by Anton Bergmann
  • De drie zustersteden, vaderlandsche trilogie by Karel Lodewijk Ledeganck
  • the Novellen by Rosalie and Virginie Loveling
  • Mijn levende schaduw by Paul De Wispelaere
  • Vallen by Anne Provoost
  • Ariane et Barbe-Bleue by Maurice Maeterlinck
  • For further Information, visit the Bibliothéque’s Web-Site at www.kbr.be.

    –The Minister of Culture–

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    Murray Malone Song

    Just a Simple Link today – here is a Song by Peter Himmelman from a few Years Back, paying Homage to Belgian Cat and Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone.

    –The Minister of Culture.

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    Published in: on August 20, 2008 at 9:27 pm  Leave a Comment  
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    Belgian Coffee

    We at the Belgian Institute for the Culinary Arts were somewhat Dismayed to unearth the Experience had by this Blog Poster regarding the Origins of Belgian Coffee.

    The Author’s Experience is somewhat Disappointing to those of us attempting to Spread the Culinary Experience of the Nation of Belgium to the World; however, such an Experience is perhaps not entirely Unusual.

    Belgian Cat and Coffee Expert Cinnamon Calhoun has written in to us regarding the True Nature of Belgian Coffee. The owners of the Norwegian Cafe in the Blog Article stated that Belgian Coffee is made with Cointreau and Bailey’s Irish Creame, which is Incorrect. In fact, Belgian Coffee is traditionally served in a Glass similar to that of an Irish Coffee, and warm, with Whipped Creame atop it – therefore, the connection with Bailey’s, a standard ingredient in Irish Coffee, can be understood. In fact, however, Belgian Coffee contains no Irish Creame. It also contains no Cointreau – which is a form of Triple Sec originating in the City of Anvers, France. Again, this is an Understandable Mistake, as the correct Liqueur to be Used in a Belgian Coffee is Elixir d’Anvers, which comes not from Anvers, France but from Antwerp, Belgium (called “Anvers” by French-Speaking Walloons within Belgium).

    A Traditional Cup of Belgian Coffee consists of six parts Hot Black Coffee to one part Elixir d’Anvers, blended together with a teaspoon of Sugar and topped with a dollop of Whipped Creame. As already stated, it is often served in a Glass Mug not unlike those used for Irish Coffee. Belgian Chocolate is also often Sprinkled atop the Creame for a touch of Visual Flair.

    As an Aside, we have been asked to Point Out that the film “Elixir d’Anvers” was an early Work of the Controversial Belgian Film Director Gris Gris. He served as an Assistant Director on that Film under the pseudonym “Guy Goossens.”

    *The Belgian Institution for the Culinary Arts*
    & -The Minister of Culture-

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    Professor Nanu: Call for Conference Papers

    Professor Nanu of the University of Brussels has requested that the following Call for Papers be Brought to the Attention of those who are Interested in the Belgian Cats as well as Culture as a Whole:

    The Free University of Brussels presents a Conference on the Historical Use of Images.

    Professor Nanu will be Moderating one or more of the Panels at the Conference, which is expected to attract Many International Experts in the Field of Cultural Research and should spark Fascinating Discourse aplenty. The Conference shall take place Next March.

    –The Minister of Culture–

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