‘Dirtyface’ Gang Responsible for Magritte Theft?

The famous Painting, “Olympia,” by Rene Magritte, valued at around €750,000, was Stolen by Armed Bandits at the Painter’s Former Home in Brussels this week.

Belgian Constables are Searching for Clues, but it was Leaked Today that Belgian Cat and Notorious Gangster ‘Dirtyface’ Zanoni may be Implicated. Sources Reveal that ‘Dirtyface’ is known to be Fond of Magritte’s Work and may have a small Collection of Rare and even Stolen Pieces by the Artist.

Zanoni Himself was not thought to have been at the Scene to Perform the Robbery, which took place during the Day and was Perpetrated by Two Armed Men.

Anyone with Information on the Heist should contact the Belgian Authorities Immediately, and are Advised that their Protection from Dirtyface’s Gang is Guaranteed if it is deemed Necessary.

–The International Constable of the Nation of Belgium.

Gris Gris Applauds ‘JCVD’

Belgian Film Director Gris Gris, whose forthcoming Film “Een Buitengewone Werk van Schoonheid” hits American Theaters this Winter, has given the “Thumbs-Up” to the International Hit ‘JCVD‘ starring Action Star and Brussels Native Jean-Claude Van Damme.

The Film, shot in Brussels and Directed by Mabrouk El Mechri features Van Damme portraying Himself – an Action Hero struggling with a Divorce and a Messy Custody Battle, and willing to accept Any Terrible Film Role in order to Pay his Attorney’s Bills. Amidst it All, Van Damme becomes caught up in a Real Life Action Film Scenario as he stumbles upon a Bank Robbery and is Suspected by the Police to be the Robber.

Gris Gris said he Loved the Post-Moderne Nature of the Film, and felt Particularly Pleased that “mijn vaderland Brussel zal worden gezien door een internationaal publiek.”

Earlier this Year, Gris Gris expressed Disdain over the Negative Portrayal of the Belgian City of Brugge in the British-Produced Film, “In Bruges.”

–The Minister of Culture.